Marching Away from March and into April

Well, my friends I have a lot to tell you.

I am going to start with the sleazes this week because I just know that is really what you want to read about.

The Sleaze of the Week for the last posting was none other than the 27 year old and his ‘head shot’! For reason that will become obvious once you read further there are only a couple of sleazes to report on.

Prospect number 1 - This guy really took the cake – not only did he send me a ‘head shot’ in full colour but he also enclosed an email that was, to say the least, so full of himself that I spent most of the time laughing which I doubt was his intention.

Prospect number 2 - This guy was more refined – he merely requested contact and as he fell in the correct parameters regarding age and marital status I accepted. Wrong!! The guy then proceeded to tell me all his favourite sexual positions and requested a photo that did not included any clothing and only focused on one particular spot of my body (for once it was ‘the girls’) ….lol. Contact stopped.

Cast your minds back to Mr 22yr old who was waiting patiently to grow up – the sweetie send another email and I replied that no matter how any months or years passed I would not be taking him up on any offers. Hopefully I will no longer hear from him.

Remember B11? Well, B11 and I have become an item….lol!

We have spent each day either texting (very teenage activity but loads of fun); talking for hours on the phone or together. Funny how when we first met neither of us felt that immediate click that we had felt during the pre meeting chats, although B11 has said that he felt we were perfect for each other but didn’t want to push the matter.

So my profiles on the dating sites have been hidden while B11 and I romance the nights (and days) away. He has young children which he has every second weekend so that puts a hold on what we do but he and I spend the alternate weekends doing things and often through the week he comes over.

What will come of it I have no idea but at the moment I am having the greatest fun and the best romance of my life, that old cliche of 'soul mates' actually comes to mind when I think about how we fit together on all sorts of levels!

So very sorry people but no more sleazes to fill your days with shock/horror - instead think of me being romanced (but I know it just isn't the same as reading about rotters) …..rotfl.

*******
Warty - I'm inclined to agree with your husband. I have read that the ratio of male to female on these sites is very high so the prospective male has to do all that he can to win fair maiden.

In cave man days I imagine that as well as knocking dinosaurs on the head the male with the 'biggest member' would have been considered prime breeding stock. So my thought is they revert back to prehistoric days and wave it around for all to see. "Look I can create lovely healthy babies! Wouldn't you like to have me as a partner?" Of course, females have moved on and we require more from our men than a regress into that type of thinking very quickly and easily....rotfl!

February's Fun Continues

The Sleaze of the Week for last week was No3!

B11 - well it has been an interesting week! We chatted on the phone for about an hour and agreed to meet up for coffee this Saturday. Then between Thursday and Monday we went a little crazy with text messages and phone calls - actually it was great fun! I still didn't know what he looked like and jokingly asked was he similar to Quasimodo's brother, the handsome one without the hump. This stuck and we began making silly jokes with him referring to himself as Q.

Actually we really did get on well to the point we moved the date forward to last Tuesday. This turned out to be a real fiasco! Think the hundreds of texts and hours of phone calls had left both of us with a false sense of the other. Our expectations of each other were unrealistic and based on the fantasy built up from the texts and phone calls.

We could have called it quits at that point but both of us had felt we really connected on the phone so we tried again. He came over on Thursday night for tea and we sat and talked and laughed and just relaxed; and things were much better. Whether anything comes of it I have no idea but I have made a very very good friend if nothing else so I am glad we both decided to give it another try.

(Note to self - do not accept contact with someone without seeing a photo first and do not spend hours on phone calls BEFORE you meet someone).

I have also received a contact from a 57 year old guy; (and before you ask I have seen photos and he is cute) from Facebook of all places. Anyway we have been swapping pokes, flirts and other silly notes for the week and a half; he asked where I live and would I like to meet for coffee. The silliness continues and so today I sent off one with a note attached asking when he would like to meet up for coffee; so now will be interesting to see if anything comes of it.

The other interesting thing was I went to do some grocery shopping the other day and decided to grab a coffee from the local McCafe. On the way back to my car a cute 30 something walked passed and gave a very nice comment then stopped and asked if I would like a coffee. I gestured to my hand and he gave a smile. I thanked him and wandered back to the car. I have to admit it was quite flattering and a real boost to the ego!

Right, now before you all get upset and say "hey, where are the weirdos and sleazes?" I will now present the contenders for Sleaze of the Week.

No 1 - A few months back was approached by a married guy who was after a little extra marital action, said he had an 'open marriage'. Anyway I said no and thought that was it. Well he popped up again this week; said he had meet a few ladies on the site but kept thinking about me and would really love to meet up for some quote "oral fun and games".

No 2 - A 75 year old man who sent me an email telling me that despite his age he was still able to keep an erection for about 15 mins and would be able to give me a pleasurable experience! Yuk!

No 3 - A marriage proposal from the UK with the sentence "if you would like references from my lovers (yes plural!!) regarding my prowess and abilities during sex please do not hesitate to ask me in your return email." Needless to say there was no 'return' email from me.

No 4 - A 27 year old who sent an detailed email with a picture attached. I shall leave it up to your imagination what the pic was of - let's just say it was a 'head ' shot!

Well my friends , your weekly dose of voyeurism and sexual titillation has been administered. Who knows what next week will bring but rest assured there will definitely be at least one sleaze!!

Mid February Madness (on my part).

Has been a relatively quiet week again but that is not to say I haven't had any contacts.

Let's start with B3 and then the 'reasonable' ones.

I had decided that it was just not me to get involved with B3 so told him so; he sent a few more emails asking me to change my mind then dropped the clanger of asking if I was sure I didn't want a 3some! Made me very pleased with my decision to drop contact.

Got a contact request from a 51 yr old who sounded very nice. We have exchanged a lot of emails and now phone numbers. Didn't hear for a couple of days and thought I may have scared him off bu the phone numbers but he finally replied and he is intending to ring tomorrow night to line up a 'date'. Sadly there is no pic to go with but I am breaking my own rule and going to meet with him. Why? Because he sounds so damn interesting. Our emails have been great, not the usual "I am wonderful you must meet me" instead a little philosophical, a little flirtatious, a little insight into the man and it has me intrigued. Smart man.....lol.

So he will become B11 - will that be a lucky number or a total disaster!

The other requests which are only at the first email stage are one from another 51 year old and one from a 50 year old. At this point I have no idea whether there will be more emails or not.

I did have coffee with a 43 year old (B10) who I mentioned previously. He was a nice enough boy (lol) but very self centred. He did want me to go out again and rang a number of times after our 'date' before he finally accepted that I was not interested in continuing.

Now onto the sleazes .... I know you all tut tut at these and say how awful but inside you're thinking "mmm did any weirdos contact her and what did they say"? Go on admit it.....rotfl.

So I now present The Sleazes -

No 1 - 50 year old, 6'4 seemed nice on the first two emails and asked could we have a coffee date. I said I would like to speak on the phone first. Had a photo and wasn't too bad actually. gave him my number and wow what a change when he got on the phone. Within the first minute it degenerated into telling me what he would like to do with parts of my anatomy. I hung up and he sent me a text asking why. Boy, if you can't figure it out that's your problem.

No 2 - 44 year old sent an email telling me about himself and asking if I was into bike riding. Oh yes, come in sucker - I replied I hadn't ridden for many years. His return email - obviously he wasn't discussing pushbikes. I laughed hard at that one because I fell right into it. Block contact.

No 3 - 51 year old - was a little hesitant on this one because of his profile name (tongue4maturewomen) and I was right in my assessment. His opening line was did I like his name? I replied that it was okay but nothing exciting. Yep I felt like playing him to the hilt. His response was to tell me that he was able to give women 2 or even 3 orgasms and was I impressed and wouldn't I love a younger man. Alright I know I should have cut contact there and then but this guy was so full of himself and the devil was sitting on my shoulder.

told him he was a little old for me as my previous dates were in their 30s (liar liar pants on fire) and I consider that only 3 orgasms was ridiculous, I expect no less than 6. Oh my goodness, I couldn't believe what I wrote but this guy was just a chauvinistic idiot who thought he was God's gift to women. He was rather subdue with his reply and I wrote back and said there was no reason for me to keep contact with him and goodbye.

I will probably burn in hell a bit longer for that but it was fun.

Looks like the Sleaze of the Week may have been me....rotfl.

Valentine's Week

Ah what an interesting week it has been on the dating scene.

Where to start?

B8 - as you know had a number of dates with him and seemed to be getting on really well. He appeared to like me and I thought he was great. Anyway Valentine's Day evening I got a message from him telling me I was a "wonderful woman and deserved a decent man so sorry, he was not nice." Now what the hell does that mean? Okay I understand he doesn't want to continue on with me and that is fine, but why on earth can't men say what they mean - does it mean "I'm already in a relationship and feel guilty" or "sorry you don't do it for me" or even "don't like you." Come on guys a little feedback would be nice so us girls wouldn't be left wondering if it was something we did or didn't do.....rotfl.

So what else was there - had coffee with B9 - a nice 63 year old but I just felt 'blah'. He seemed well, old.

It must have been a week for kinky men too ....lol. I had 2 cross dressers ask for contact, a transgender, a 42 year old in a relationship looking for a little extra and, oh yes, he would like a little bi action as well. Finally the last of the kinks was a 43 year old who would love to meet me and who is into group sex and 3 somes - would I join? Haha - thanks but no thanks.

Got a request from a 52 year old who's profile seemed okay. Started chatting with him, he seemed interesting and liked similar things to me. No photo which always rings bells with me. Anyway his self description was 6'4 and average built. Finally coaxed a picture from him - if he tipped the scales at 180kgs I would be underestimating him. He is such a very very big boy - now I understand the comment on his profile that he didn't get out much. Sorry but I am as biased as most of us and prefer someone I am physically attracted to.

My sweet little 22 year sent me an email, reminding me that he was now a month older .... oh my sweet you are such a lovely boy wish he would find a nice young thing to make him happy.

Only one proposal this week - from the US, probably trying to get away from their terrible economic problems (ours are nowhere near as bad). He was 47 and rather cute but, come on, I just don't fall for those proposals.

Of real interest to you all is the return of B3 - yes, he has made contact again. Telling me he can't get me out of his mind and that I am everything he ever wanted in a woman. Please would I at least meet with him and talk things through.

In all honestly I have no idea what to do about B3. I found him very attractive and until the bisexuality thing was raised was prepared to see if the relationship could develop. Will have to seriously thing on this one before I give any answer; in the meantime he has continued to write emails to me.

Got a strange contact email from a middle eastern guy who wondered if I would like to join him for private games .....lol. He said in the past he sometimes mistreated women but felt he was more in control now. He loved my breasts (oh hell not another one) and could imagine resting his head on them. My reply? Nothing - I just blocked contact and threw his email in the 'junk' pile.

So my readers a relatively quiet week in lala land....lol. You will have a week to discuss my adventures and then come back for another dose. BTW comments and suggestions on what to do about B3 would be helpful.

"Sleaze of the week" for last week was the 24 year old woman.

A Side Light on the Outcome of Meeting Someone

Been thinking through what may happen if I actually meet someone who I would like to have a relationship with.

As far as the body is concerned I am a large lady but I have stipulated that in my profile and I do check with potential dates that they do like full figured women. As I mentioned in the last posting men seems to be very attracted to my breasts but alas gravity has taken a terrible toll on my boobs. They look great when contain; a wonderful cleavage, soft and inviting but, oh my, when released 'watch out knees'. Heavens knows what will happen if or when I take the plunge with one of the guys I meet.

Of course I could just toss them casually over my shoulder ....lol.... but I fear that may send the prospective male running away. I could make sure the lights were off and we were in pitch darkness but I fear his hands would soon discover my secret. Of course as long as I was lying on my back I could fake it and make sure they were where the prospective partner would expect them to be and not hanging around my nether regions.

Ah well, 'the girls' have caused all this attraction and angst so they will just have to face the music and put up with it. I shall just have to hope that if and when it happens the guy I have chosen will appreciate me for me and be totally gobsmacked by the fact I have allowed him into my bed that he doesn't notice....lol

Fun in February

An interesting week in online dating land.

I have met with B8 on a number of occasions, he is very nice but I am not sure a) if he is the one for me or b) if he is definitely interested in me. Time will tell, I haven't seen him since Thursday night. Got a couple of text messages yesterday but nothing of substance so I am incline to think he is not as interested as he was when we first me.

Still there are things to report.

Been a week of lots of contact request, 2 overseas marriage proposal and the odd obscene proposition.

First the contact requests that I accepted.

Have had contact with an attractive 50 yr old guy from Qld (2nd time he has contacted me). Last time he told me he wanted my body and I stopped the contact. This time he apologised and I figure he is good for a laugh and as he is in Qld and me here I'm not likely to meet him. Anyway we chatted for a while and then this morning I got an message from him telling me - "god I would love to meet you and you are so sexy". Hope I haven't created a monster .. lol.

The next was from a guy who lives about 3/4 hr drive away, 54, 6'2 so I thought I would chat with him and see what he sounded like. At the beginning he seemed very nice then I thought I would ask the obvious "are you married?". Answer was no I am separated but we are still living in the same house....mmm, bells started ringing.

He then proceeded to tell me that he and his wife had separated 5 months ago but as they had lost their house in the economic downturn he was still living with her in her mother's house. He then added that he had lost his job, had no savings, had seriously damaged his back and needed major surgery. Oh yes .... he was considering committing suicide last year but changed his mind at the last minute. Oh my goodness there is no way I am getting involved with Mr Depressive. Contact stopped!

Contact number 3 is a 52 year old who lives fairly close to Mr Depressive. Have only spoke with him briefly just to say hi and establish who we were and why we were on the site.

Contact number 4 is a local about 15 mins away; same height as me but interesting. We have chatted three times now and are now talking about the infamous 'coffee date' so I will keep you posted on how things turn out with him.

Contact number 5 is a bit sus - he has put his status as 'other' so I have accepted contact but have asked what he status really is. Will have to wait on that one.

And the final contact that has been accepted is from a younger guy in his 40s, have yet to chat with him so can tell you nothing except he is 6'2 and built like the proverbial outhouse (for those of you reading this from overseas it means he is well built with lots of muscles).

Onto the ones I find funny enough to share with you all.

I have discovered that I have a hidden assess - my breasts ... .lol. I seem to get a lot of comments regarding them. I am a well endowed woman so they are noticeable but they seem to have generated their own fan club. Each week I get request involving them and certain parts of the male anatomy. I am jealous they seem to get more attention than me....rotfl.

Mr 5'4 sent his usual emails for the week and continues to accept the fact that I will not meet him and have no interest. Got an email from an 18 year old - he attached his pics - an attractive boy but honestly, they must realise that women of 59 are not going to go out with an 18 year old.

One of my proposals was from a fellow in Columbia who sent a second one when I ignored the first asking why wouldn't I marry him, could I please explain? Yep, you guessed it, I ignored that one too.

The funniest of the week was an email from a 23 year old girl who said she had been reading my blog regularly and finally decided to write because "I was the MAN for her and she desperately wanted to come to Australia, meet me and we could get married and she would have lots of children for me." Gee I didn't think my photos were that bad and why on earth would I be writing about all these men I was meeting?

I won't bother to include the couple of obscene ones - who needs it? I mean I often get requests for sex but they are either written humorously, flatteringly or couched in vague terms and I take them in good grace but when they resort to gross obscenity I just block contact and that's that.

So my friends you can all read laugh, tut tut and gasp as you get your weekly dose of voyeurism; then come back next week for more.


PS As suggested by Wart Mammal each time post, you, my readers, rate the potential Mr. Wrongs for "The Sleaze of the Week" and try to reach a consensus as to which one was worst.

I will post the results with the following week's fairy tale.

Contact!!!

A very interesting and, hopefully rewarding, week.

B7 - the African gentleman sent me and email including his contact number so I gave him a call. We exchanged 4 phone calls and things seemed okay. He did suggest coffee but then the calls between us have petered out so I have crossed him off my list. He did say that he would like to have children at some point so why on earth he was contacting someone my age is beyond me.

Had two more married men contact me who I refused immediately, one replied with a nasty note saying I was missing out on the best f*** I would ever get. I didn't even bother to reply. Beats me why they bother contacting me when I have written in my profile that I am not interested in any contact from married men or those interested in casual sex.

A sweet little 22 year old sent a charming email saying he found me extremely attractive and would love to meet. I replied that I made it a rule not to date anyone under 45 and thanked him for his email. He sent one back saying that he was very disappointed and would I object to him writing in a few months when he was a little older ........ brings a tear to your eye doesn't it ....lol.

The 5'4 chap is still sending emails, I haven't bothered to block contact with him because his emails are not offensive and, quite frankly, they are flattering. I have replied a few times telling him there is no chance that I will change my mind but his reply has been that he will continue to write on the off chance.

Was a little disappointed that I only received one marriage proposal this week - from the US....rotfl.

Received a request from a 57 year old who's photo showed a very overweight, unshaven and dirty looking man with a cigarette. Why on earth would anyone put something like that on a dating profile. He asked 'if I bite and would I bite him on a certain part of his anatomy'. I didn't bother to reply but he sent another that was even more grimy and I won't even bother to quote any of it. Naturally I have blocked contact.

Received a email from a man who ticked a lot of my boxes - he is 56, tall 6'2 and has a regular job, separated. The only draw back was his profile pic - he was not attractive to me and I ummed and arred as to whether to reply.

In the end I figured he seemed nice in all the other points of his profile maybe I should just speak with him and see how things went; let's face it not everyone can take a reasonable photo and, true be told, looks are not everything.

So I replied to the email and then he asked if we could meet for coffee. Now I am would much rather meet someone early in the piece because it is very easy to build up an image of a person with the crossing of emails, and more often that not when you do meet that person they don't meet up to your fantasized image.

So I agreed that coffee sounded a good idea and gave him a contact number. He rang and we chatted for a while. He had a lovely voice on the phone and I was quietly optimistic.

Went off for our coffee date and wandered into the shop looking at the solo males - there at the back was a very attractive male who stood and smiled ..... whoa be still my heart....lol.

Obviously the photo was taken when he was tired and pulling an ugly face, because this guy was a hottie ....yipee!

We introduced ourselves and talked and talked and talked. We wandered around the shopping centre still talking. The only thing that stopped us was the fact he had to go to work. So our coffee date lasted over 3 hours.

He rang and text me several times over the next couple of days and then we meet again on Sunday. I have to admit to being very taken with him and he seems interested in me. He is going to ring early this week and arrange an evening soon when we can go out again.

So I officially designated him B8 and hope that at the very least I don't have to prowl the Internet for a while and who knows....?

But don't worry friends I will keep you all posted on either continuing searches and contacts; and/or how things progress with B8. After all I know there are several of you who need their weekly dose of voyeurism and gratuitously inferred sex......rotfl.